In history we are watching. "4 little girls" a document made by Spike Lee. Along with that we are reading a book called the Sixties. Its truly amazing what that generation of people had to go through to get basic human rights. I was in tears while watching white, racist policemen with attack dogs, depriving the black race of their freedom of speech; depriving them of their right to assemble by using fire hoses and literally spraying people off of their feet. It was really hard to watch. Sometimes i think as Americans we forget what people went through just to get the basic human right to drink out of a water fountain, or to get the right to vote, or to challenge the government with freedom of speech. American history sometimes seems like some fictional story; like it never really happened because some things we did seem so unrealistic. The documentary is about 4 girls who were killed in a bombing in Sixteenth Street Baptist Church. I dont understand how people can be so hateful to one another. How could you live with yourself after bombing a church and killing 4 young girls just because of the color of their skin. Or after shooting a black man in the head just because he used a "white mans" bathroom?! Or putting hundreds of children in jail or 5 days because they were marching for their freedom?!
Joan Baez wrote a song about the Birmingham Sunday ...

" Come round by my side and I'll sing you a song.
I'll sing it so softly, it'll do no one wrong.
On Birmingham Sunday the blood ran like wine,
And the choirs kept singing of Freedom.
That cold autumn morning no eyes saw the sun,
And Addie Mae Collins, her number was one.
At an old Baptist church there was no need to run.
And the choirs kept singing of Freedom,
The clouds they were grey and the autumn winds blew,
And Denise McNair brought the number to two.
The falcon of death was a creature they knew,
And the choirs kept singing of Freedom,
The church it was crowded, but no one could see
That Cynthia Wesley's dark number was three.
Her prayers and her feelings would shame you and me.
And the choirs kept singing of Freedom.
Young Carol Robertson entered the door
And the number her killers had given was four.
She asked for a blessing but asked for no more,
And the choirs kept singing of Freedom.
On Birmingham Sunday a noise shook the ground.
And people all over the earth turned around.
For no one recalled a more cowardly sound.
And the choirs kept singing of Freedom.
The men in the forest they once asked of me,
How many black berries grew in the Blue Sea.
And I asked them right with a tear in my eye.
How many dark ships in the forest?
The Sunday has come and the Sunday has gone.
And I can't do much more than to sing you a song.
I'll sing it so softly, it'll do no one wrong.
And the choirs keep singing of Freedom."

growing in mind, body, and soul.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
school.
grades.
work.
money.
relationships.
things.

"dancing at discos
eating cheese on toast
you make me merry
you make me very very happy
but you obviously
didnt want to stick around."
-kate nash

so long originality

i dont really know what i want to say, but i do know that i want to say something. ill start with this ... a friend of mine says "understanding is everything" ... well what if sometimes you want to understand ... but you cant ? ... how do you measure success or happiness in ones life? is there a chart of some number that can tell you or is it your friends and family that measure it ... or is it you that measures it? well i think the answer is obvious. Who cares what society says is happiness and success as long as you are loving what your doing and how your living your life ... i think thats enough for me. so robbie left today. i dont know why but everytime he leaves i am just as sad as the first time. We didnt even spend as much time together this time yet i cried like
i spent a whole week with him. i guess its cause as i got older we became more
like best friends than anything. i sure do miss him and even though he always left me at school as a freshman or ditched me for kris [ no offense :) ] i always felt like through the hard times he was there for me. Oh and 2 new girls started at work last week and its just my luck that they both have prior waitressing experience which means i wont get waitress next! BOO! it sucks but thats life. i just hope i get marching tech though. its something ive worked my butt off for. I want to bring the band back up and make it just as good if not better than my freshman year. well thats all for tonight. thanks for hearing me out. love you guys!

- felicia

freedom of speech, religion, fear, and want

time seems to be playing a major role in my life right now ...
for one i feel like sleeping during the day and staying awake all night
am i nocturnal?

second, i feel like im thought of as being too young for certain things
and people ... although if people new my thoughts i bet they wouldnt
think i was young.

third, with the time i am givin it seems like im not givin enough
i cant get everything done that i need to before its time to go to sleep.

on the bright side my job is going great. Im next in line to be waitress
so thats good news considering thats kinda why i wanted that job in
the first place! ha and my brother has been home for about 2 weeks
yet it seems like ive seen him for a total of about 2 days. It sucks and
i wish he didnt have to leave, but if he didnt leave then i would have
no reason to go to Hawaii! ha

pursue your dreams
then you will find happiness.

there is beauty in the breaking

so im kinda nervous / scared/ excited about quitting band.
im nervous about telling mr wiggins
scared that im going to miss it
and excited that i can enjoy other things in my life.
you would think it wouldnt be a big deal
but when youve been apart of something
and its become apart of your life
its hard to quit.
but anyways tomorrow im going to apply at Babes...
i really hope i get that job!
i miss my brother a lot!
this Christmas will be the first Christmas
without him.
its going to be hard...
this song , written my lindsey haun,
kinda explains what im feeling right now.

"wake up to a sunny day
not a cloud up in the sky
but then it starts to rain
my defenses hit the ground
and they shatter all around
so open and exposed
i found strength in the struggle
face to face with my troubles
when your broken
in a million little pieces and your
trying but you cant hold on anymore
every tear falls down for a reason
dont just stop believeing in yourself
when your broken
little girl dont be so blue
i know what your going through
dont let it beat you up
hitting walls and getting scars
only makes you who you are
no matter how much your heart
is aching there is beauty in the breaking"
- lindsey haun

inspired

getting up and getting out
today tomorrow
growing up and down
now were coming to
moving in moving out
applying myself
growing meeting learning loving
just some stuff on my mind.
hes my best friend
i miss how everything used to be.
hiding behind pillars
making fun of the school secretary
leaving me without telling me ha
laughing, fighting, loving, hating
i miss him like i never thought i could
hes my best friend
hes my brother.